Biden punks Putin, sends convicted Jan. 6th 'Oath Keeper' to Russia in prisoner exchange for Brittney Griner

The 2022 midterm elections were not the only late-year victory for President Biden and the Democrats. Earlier this month, he followed it up by completing a prisoner exchange with Russia that brought home WNBA star Brittney Griner.

Initial reports indicated the United States gave up Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout, nicknamed the “Merchant of Death,” for Griner. Bout was serving a 25-year sentence after being detained in Thailand in 2008. This generated some criticism that the US gave up a violent, dangerous arms dealer in exchange for a basketball player.

Russian authorities said the thing they disliked most about Brittney Griner was how she was always looking down her nose at them. Thanks to the prisoner swap, they no longer have to endure such treatment.

Those reports have since been debunked. It turns out the clever and cunning Biden instead gave Russia Stewart Rhodes, one of the ringleaders of the January 6, 2021, attack on the US Capitol. Rhodes, founder of a group called the Oath Keepers, recently was convicted of seditious conspiracy. Meanwhile, Bout remains in US custody to complete the remainder of his sentence.

“Maybe that Rhodes fella can be as much a pain in the ass for the Russian government as he was for the US government,” Biden was overheard whispering to a potted bamboo palm in the Oval Office. The advisor he believed he was talking to had just snuck out of the room for a smoke break.

But how did the United States pull a fast one on the Russian government without anyone noticing? It is because the White House has one of the best hair and makeup departments in the world. They are the biggest reason US presidents always look so competent.

The makeup people quickly got to work, but the process was long and grueling. After nearly three hours, “Viktor Bout 2.0” emerged, looking nearly indistinguishable to the real thing.

LEFT: What the real Viktor Bout looks like. MIDDLE: What Stewart Rhodes used to look like. RIGHT: What Stewart Rhodes looks like now, following his makeover at the White House. No wonder the Russians were none the wiser.

He looked so similar, in fact, that three Secret Service agents drew their weapons and insisted he drop to the ground and place his hands on his head. Once that snafu was straightened out, the prisoner swap was all systems go.

The Russian authorities who picked up Bout 2.0 were oblivious to the switcheroo. (Battle Line is sharing this news without fear as we have been assured President Vladimir Putin does not read this publication, believing it to be “nothing more than US propaganda.”)

Polls show that Americans, who already felt mostly positive about bringing Griner home, feel even better about this arrangement. In fact, Biden’s approval rating over the past week jumped from 41.4 percent to 42.2 percent. This suggests the president is only 20 or 25 popular prisoner swaps away from securing an easy re-election in 2024.

However, some Americans are still criticizing the trade, believing the White House should have done more to bring home Marine Paul Whelan instead of Griner. Whelan has been in Russian custody since 2018 after being accused of espionage.

Biden assured the public his decision was based neither on emotion nor politics, but purely on hard data. Griner averaged an impressive 21 points and 10 rebounds last year, which blew Whelan's statistics out of the water. Furthermore, the Phoenix Mercury – Griner’s team – strongly urged Biden to secure Griner’s release, as the franchise believed she gave them a better chance of winning a championship than did the 52-year-old Whelan. All that considered - and with Arizona being a purple state - the decision practically made itself.

President Biden as the prisoner exchange was being executed and a celebratory bowl of chocolate chip ice cream - his favorite - was being carried into the Oval Office.

So, it is a happy Christmas at the White House. If President Biden carries on this string of success much longer, rumors suggest Republicans may not even nominate a presidential challenger in 2024.

As for Rhodes, he also seemed happy with the arrangement as it resulted in his release from prison and an opportunity to fulfill his lifelong dream of being a highly feared gunrunner.

Originally published December 20, 2022.