CRITIC'S CORNER: In The Clink: The Story of England's Oldest Prison

The inspiration for this month’s review was a recent tour I took of The Clink Prison Museum in London, which rests on the site of England’s oldest prison. This is also likely where the slang term for prison, “the clink,” originates.

The museum explains and portrays the squalid conditions prisoners experienced, as well as many of the forms of torture used over the centuries. One of the more head-scratching features of the museum is its attempts at being suitable for children, with plaques and cartoons explaining the prison’s operations. For example, an adult exhibit describing how a debtor was chained to the wall, starved, beaten and shamed was accompanied by a plaque with a cartoon asking kids, “Do you ever hear your parents talk about paying off credit card debt?” Such an experience, I suspect, could be quite terrifying for a young kid. And perhaps the parents too.

This tour, and the desire to learn more about the prison itself, led to the purchase of E.J. Burford’s 1977 book, “In the Clink: The Story of England’s Oldest Prison.” Prior to Chapter 1, the reader sees that Burford dedicates the book to his wife “in this year of our Golden Wedding as a mark of love and affection.” A sweet gesture, to be sure, but it also begs the question as to whether 50 years of marriage had anything to do with him electing to write a book about torture and imprisonment. I choose to give his wife more credit than to say yes.

The 171-page book is dense and, due to many excerpts of original texts, often difficult to read. The most interesting parts, I am less than proud to admit, are when the author outlines the various modes of torture employed at the prison, such as “death by pressing,” during which a “recalcitrant prisoner” would be put:

“…in a windowless airless damp dungeon, naked except for a loin cloth, stretched out on the back, and iron weights placed upon the chest, increased each day. The first day three morsels of rotten coarse bread, second day three draughts of water from the stagnant pool next the prison door—no spring or fountain water is to be permitted—the third day three morsels of bread and then alternate days of the same diet until death supervenes.”

If that doesn’t tickle your sadistic fancy, then skim forward to the part about prisoners being dunked in cauldrons of boiling oil. A light summer beach read this is not! But it does teach an invaluable lesson: If you ever find yourself in a medieval English prison, do not be recalcitrant…or a Catholic, a Jew, a dissenting Protestant, a drunk, a prostitute, an alleged witch, a vagabond, an adulterer or in debt. On a scale of 1 to 5, I give “In the Clink: The Story of England’s Oldest Prison” 3 drum solos.