FLASHBACK: Ohio Senate GOP debate cut short after candidates' proclaimed love for Donald Trump turns lewd
Yesterday, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump named Ohio Senator J.D. Vance as his running mate. Vance is just 18 months into his first term as a US senator, having been elected in 2022 after earning the much-coveted Trump endorsement. Here is a look back at a GOP primary debate from that cycle, during which the candidates made very clear their allegiance and fealty to DJT.
Originally printed April 30, 2022.
The Republican candidates vying to succeed Rob Portman in the US Senate have by and large made one thing very clear: They love Donald Trump. And they never pass up an opportunity to align themselves with the 45th president, who won Ohio by eight points in both 2016 and 2020.
But during the last primary debate, the candidates took their affection for Trump a little too far, at least according to the moderators.
When asked to name figures from whom he finds inspiration, candidate Mike Gibbons replied, “That’s easy. My lord and savior Jesus H. Christ. And Donald J. Trump.”
This caused an uproar on stage.
“Can you believe what you just heard, ladies and gentlemen?” candidate Jane Timken said, clearly aghast. “He didn’t even put Donald Trump first on his list of inspirational figures. And this man calls himself a conservative?!”
Candidate Josh Mandel butted in: “I find Gibbons’ response shameful and offensive. As far as inspirational figures in my life, I’ll give you three names: Number one, Donald Trump. Number two, Donald Trump. Number three, that’s right, Donald Trump. If I had to name a fourth…Donald Trump, Jr.”
“I have nothing against Jesus Christ,” said candidate JD Vance. “I think he did a lot of good things. But to put him before the man who made America great again? That’s simply too much for my stomach to handle.”
“Allow me to clarify,” Gibbons interrupted. “I find strength and inspiration from both men. I wouldn’t put one before the other. In my mind, Jesus and Trump are equals.”
“Flip-flopper!” Timken screamed. “You can’t have it both ways!”
“Let me state one thing unequivocally,” Mandel said, once the noise had died down. “I love Donald Trump. In fact, if he would be so kind as to ask, I would sleep with Donald Trump. And it would be the best night of my life.”
“I’d sleep with Donald Trump and would make sure it was the best night of his life,” Timken said. “I am the only woman on stage after all.”
“I did sleep with Donald Trump and it was the best night of both our lives,” Vance said. “Why do think he endorsed me?”
“Might I remind the candidates that the question before the group is regarding infrastructure,” one of the beleaguered moderators interjected. “Mr. Mandel, if elected, what would you do to improve the nation’s infrastructure?”
“Hold on a minute,” Gibbons interrupted, index finger pointed skyward. “I’ve taken a lot of slack in this debate. But I haven’t heard Matt Dolan over there say one word about his feelings for Donald Trump. What is it, Matt? Ohioans deserve to know.”
“I liked some of Trump’s policies, and I believe he helped strengthen the American economy,” Dolan said. “But I am not going to stand up here and pledge allegiance to one man. It’s time for us to move on and look to the future.”
The remaining candidates peered at Dolan, mouths agape, as if a four-eyed chimpanzee had just descended from outer space and was speaking Mandarin. The room fell quiet.
“Well, Donald Trump would never sleep with a man like that,” Vance said, breaking the silence.
At this, the moderators threw their papers in the air and stormed out of the auditorium.
Best yet! Hysterical.