FLASHBACK OP-ED: Advice to American voters: Elect older politicians
A New York Times article this week highlighted the fact that an increasing number of United States senators are very old. The Senate, it seems, is not a place where one goes to die, but rather where one goes to live forever. The Times pointed out that the American people are becoming so accustomed to elderly elected leaders that news of two octogenarian senators running for re-election has generated barely a ripple of attention, let alone criticism.
This reminded us of an op-ed printed two years ago in Battle Line, in which a character from the Old Testament shared his unique perspective on America’s wrinkled ruling class.
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Advice to American voters in 2022: Elect older politicians
By: Methuselah | Printed: July 1, 2022
At first, I was hesitant to reach out to Battle Line to share my perspective on politics in America. Writing not being my strongest skill and me not being a US citizen, I figured a publication of such prestige wouldn’t find much use for it. So I was humbled when editors called me back that same day and said my opinion would not only be printed in the newsletter, but that it would be featured on the front page. This is a truly wonderful and nerve-racking opportunity. Look at me, I’m already rambling.
Some of you may recognize me from my mentions in the Bible (you have been reading your Bible, right?). My claim to fame is that I am the oldest person to ever live. My Wikipedia page falsely claims that I lived to the ripe old age of 969. However, in the words of Mark Twain, “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
That Mark Twain sure was a treasure, wasn’t he? I think I read somewhere that he did, in fact, just recently pass away. How very sad.
As for me, I’m still going strong, fast approaching my 5,340th birthday! I count each day as a blessing and try to eat right and get plenty of exercise.
It is my advanced age and experience that brings me to the main point of this column. One of my guilty pleasures is following American politics. I get the sense that US citizens are growing increasingly frustrated with politicians, and I think I know why: Their political leaders are simply too young.
Last week, I was texting with one of my ancestors who lives in New Jersey. She was lamenting how seemingly every politician leading the country is around 80 years old. I did a little research, and she was right. President Biden is about to turn 80. The candidate he defeated in 2020, Donald Trump, just turned 76. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is 82. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer will turn 72 in November. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell celebrated his 80th birthday in February. California Senator Dianne Feinstein (89) and Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley (88) are a few years older.
I understand my ancestor’s frustration, and I agree that this is a real problem for the country. How can American voters expect their beloved nation to be run effectively when they continue electing pre-adolescents to run it?
Take President Biden, for instance. A lot of people make fun of how he can’t utter a complete sentence without stumbling or drooling down his chin. I cannot stand the cruelty of these people. The poor guy isn’t even a hundred years old yet. What do they expect? It takes a long time to learn the alphabet, much less the entire English language.
Donald Trump is younger still. Many Americans may find it frustrating, but his disobedience, selfishness and frequent temper tantrums are common for someone his age. I urge you to be more patient.
Others wonder why the likes of congressmembers Madison Cawthorn and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, to name a couple, seem deathly allergic to saying anything smart. I know the reason. It is because they are 26 and 32 years old, respectively. Hell, I was still soiling my robes at that age.
In fact, I didn’t begin my first term on Mesopotamia City Council until I was 3,184. Frankly, I don’t think I would have been ready to serve in public office any younger than that. With age comes wisdom and common sense. And that is something today’s leaders in America just don’t possess.
I realize that life expectancies aren’t what they used to be. Back in biblical times, living for several hundred years was not out of the ordinary. This is no longer the case, thanks to desk jobs and highly processed diets.
Nonetheless, if Americans want to climb out of this funk and finally get the representation they deserve, I strongly recommend they start electing older politicians. If a race is between two candidates who are 83 and 89, choose the elder. Any candidate over 100 shouldn’t even attract an opponent.
I believe in the promise of America, and I believe it can and will be preserved. But it is up to you, the voters, to elect actual adults. And there’s no better time than the present.