HEY, BATTLE LINE: I faked a vasectomy to watch March Madness. Now my wife is pregnant.

Hey Battle Line,

Earlier this year, I told my boss and coworkers I was getting a vasectomy. It was scheduled right before the start of March Madness.

They all joked that I was only having the procedure so that I could sit at home for a few days watching basketball cuddling with a pack of frozen peas. I laughed along with them, as it is a popular trope each year that March Madness is among the most popular times for men to get vasectomies.

The only problem – and I’m afraid it might be a big one – is that I never had the operation. Never even scheduled it. Had no intention of getting one. What’s worse is that I never told my wife about my plan either. She just thought my boss was letting me work from home.