TERROR ON THE SEAS: Rescue mission initiated as cruise ship’s water slide launches passengers directly into ocean

A relaxing vacation on history’s most luxurious cruise liner suddenly turned into a daring battle for survival for 12 individuals last week.

Among Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas’ many world-class amenities are six record-breaking slides contained within its state-of-the-art water park. But just minutes into the ship’s January 27^th maiden voyage off the Port of Miami, a fun day in the park morphed into a terrifying struggle between life and death for a dozen passengers. That is because of a construction flaw in one of the slides, which, instead of leading to the swimming pool beneath, spit passengers directly into the Atlantic Ocean.

The issue should have been apparent right off the bat. But due to the excitement of water park enthusiasts, combined with hungover park workers trying to rush as many noisy passengers through as quickly as possible, the problem was not identified until 11 more people had also splashed into the salty, blue abyss.

VIDEO: Footage of an impressively fit couple on a slide mere moments prior to being shot into the Atlantic. (Credit: YouTube, “Trev and Chels.”)

“There I was, sipping my fourth – maybe fifth, who knows – pina colada of the morning,” said Royal Caribbean platinum member Cindy Drabick of Rochester, Minnesota, “when all of a sudden I heard people screaming for help. ‘Lousy drunks,’ I thought. Then I noticed over the balcony a bunch of arms and legs flailing every which way in the ocean. That’s when I really thought they were drunk, so I tracked down the nearest crew member and asked to be transferred to a quieter cabin.”

Customer satisfaction being its top priority, Icon of the Seas fulfilled Drabick’s request. After handing her a new room key and a fresh cocktail, the crew immediately got to work on trying to rescue the endangered, ocean-soaked passengers.

“Seriously, did no one test out these slides before the public came aboard?” demanded another, more compassionate customer.

Royal Caribbean later explained that different construction crews were tasked with building different segments of each slide. The communication between crews was evidently quite poor, which resulted in a small portion of the blue “Storm Chaser” slide being left unfinished.

The yellow circle shows the portion of the slide that was left unfinished, where unsuspecting thrill-seekers were thrust into the world's second-largest ocean.

“We are very sorry about this oversight,” said Michael Bayley, President and CEO of Royal Caribbean. “That said, while our slides were never intended to fling people into the ocean, one could argue that this makes our water park even more exhilarating.”

At press time, rescue crews were confident that all 12 passengers would be safely pulled from the water and would indeed survive. For their trouble, Royal Caribbean is offering each of the passengers two free drink tickets and is upgrading their rooms, coincidentally right next to Cindy Drabick.

“Some people just can’t catch a break,” she said, after a long sigh.