Tugboat in stable condition after altercation with rambunctious Navy ship

The story of USS Cleveland's tumultuous christening

The US Navy has a sophisticated procedure for naming new combat ships, whereby a high-ranking officer wears a blindfold and throws a dart at a map of the United States.

The winner of the most recent darts sweepstakes: Cleveland, Ohio.

“Not again,” the dart-thrower groaned. The Navy had already named three combat ships after Cleveland, and not one had brought home a championship. So they were initially hesitant. But, considering it was already three o’clock on a Friday and tee times were looming, they rushed through the necessary paperwork and had golf clubs in hand by 3:30.

Alas, the Navy had just commissioned its fourth USS Cleveland.