"We Are Swing State": Embracing battleground status, Penn State fans swap out traditional chant for Saturday's game
STATE COLLEGE, PA — College football fans can expect a raucous environment in Happy Valley tomorrow for Penn State’s top-five showdown with Ohio State. But don’t be alarmed when the stadium sounds just a little different, as the PSU student section will be swapping out its iconic “We Are Penn State” chant for the topical alternative, “We Are Swing State.”
The change, university officials say, is both a tribute to Pennsylvania’s battleground state status in the upcoming presidential election and perhaps a consequence of brainwashing from the relentless political ads inundating the daily lives of Pennsylvanians over the past several weeks.
Pennsylvania is widely considered the most critical state in the union for determining the winner of Tuesday’s presidential election, as well as which party controls the US Senate. This means that life for Keystone State natives has been a never-ending barrage of ads, texts, phone calls, mail pieces, yard signs and billboards.
“At first it’s pretty cool to be the center of attention, like the whole country is looking at us,” said Caitlin Adams. “But by now I wish people would just leave us the f*** alone.”
The nonstop political spin has seeped into Saturday’s game in other ways, too. “I swear I heard somewhere that [Ohio State Coach] Ryan Day plans to end Social Security,” said Gerald Downs. “Is that true? Am I making that up? Either way, he’s a scumbag.”
When asked for his expectation of the game, Penn State junior Mark Middleton predicted a close, high-scoring and statistically improbable affair. “Penn State 49.3, Ohio State 48.6, obviously well within the margin of error.”
Not so long ago, Ohio enjoyed the same status as Pennsylvania is now feeling, but the state has since become more politically predictable. “I know what they’re going through,” said Shirley Griffin, a lifelong Ohio native and die-hard Buckeye fan. “I almost feel bad for them. But we’re talking about Penn State here, maybe the most annoying fans in the country. So cry me a freaking river.”
Asked what she believes is the most important problem facing the country, Griffin replied without hesitation, “Definitely our offensive line.”