WHAT IS IT?: One hundred percent
Welcome to the latest installment of "What Is It?” where we look at a term or concept relevant to present discourse and help readers make sense of it.
If you have engaged in, or been within earshot of, a conversation in the past three years, then you have no doubt heard someone use the phrase “one hundred percent.”
Maybe you use it yourself. But if not, here is a brief explainer: Someone says “one hundred percent” to signal complete agreement with what another person just said. Other variations include “hundred percent” or the even more expedient “hunnerpercent.”
Example:
Person 1: “Why did we ever think that the Browns wouldn’t completely let us down in the playoffs? We fall for it every time. We’re such idiots.”
Person 2: “One hundred percent.”
Put another way, Person 2 is saying, “I agree entirely with your assessment that our repeated optimism for the Browns in big moments is unwarranted and needs to stop. Furthermore, our inability to learn our lesson makes us deserving of the label, ‘idiots.’”
Another example:
Person 1: “People who click ‘Reply’ when they should click ‘Reply All’ deserve to have their index fingers chopped off with a meat cleaver.”
Person 2: “Hundred percent.”
In other words, Person 2 is saying, “You are so right when you argue that making a common mistake when replying to an email warrants brutal hostility and life-altering bodily disfigurement.”
Perhaps the phrase has been popular for centuries. Juliet: “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Romeo: “One hundred percent.”
But heavy use of “one hundred percent” - at least to this writer - seems to be a more recent phenomenon. No matter when it first wiggled its way into everyday speech, it is here now and doesn’t appear to be leaving us anytime soon. The problem, like with so many things, is that heavy use eventually turns into abuse.
For instance, I once heard someone respond to an agreeable statement by saying, “one thousand percent.” On another occasion, I heard a person say, “one million percent.”
These are examples of what I call “agreement inflation.” Because it is so often used, a person begins to feel that saying merely “one hundred percent” may not adequately communicate just how strongly they agree with the other person’s statement. The result: Ever-increasing percentages.
Agreement inflation has also overtaken the world of text messaging, particularly for iPhone users. “Loving” (or “hearting”) a text used to be reserved only for the most special and meaningful of messages. “Liking” (or “thumbs-upping”) was reserved for mild agreement or for simple acknowledgement that the text was received.
That has since changed, as I notice more and more run-of-the-mill messages that deserve, at best, a thumbs-up are instead earning heart after heart after heart. But as anyone knows, a heart and a thumbs-up convey two very different messages.
Notice the gulf between the responses in the following example:
Person 1: “You left your scarf at the party last night. I’ll bring it with me to brunch this morning. See you soon!!!”
Person 2 [thumbs up]: “I received your text. Thank you.”
Person 2 [heart]: “Your impending act of kindness, simple as it may be, means more than you could ever possibly know. You have restored my faith in humanity and filled my soul with the kind of love and joy I previously believed were only possible in the movies. Do not be surprised when I name my first-born child after you.”
A bit over the top, wouldn’t you agree? Put simply, people need to be more discerning about when to share their hearts and where to stick their thumbs.
I realize I am fighting an uphill battle. So instead I will put forth the idea that individuals should begin every response with a percentage. This will provide each conversant a firm understanding of how closely aligned they are on any given subject.
Example:
Person 1: “The CIA assassinated John F. Kennedy.”
Person 2: “Twenty-seven percent.”
Person 2 (translated): “I’m not willing to go that far, but I agree there are still some unanswered questions. Furthermore, I’m not yet ready to join your militia group, but I’ll happily subscribe to your weekly newsletter.”
Another example:
Person 1: “We should order pizza and wings for the game tonight.”
Person 2: “Eighty-three percent. Throw in some garlic bread and mozzarella sticks and I’m all in!”
Or:
Person 1: “Gary sure is a strange bird.”
Person 2: “Sixty-four percent. He’s actually a really nice guy. But I agree, he does talk about his mother quite a bit.”
On one hand, I’d like to think that in our rush-rush world where the average attention span gets closer to zero with each passing day, this system could help lubricate the gears of even the most banal of conversations.
On the other hand, perhaps I’ve bludgeoned this topic to within an inch of its life and should move along to more important matters.
Readers: “Hunnerpercent.”
Spot on! I note in passing, though, that the only option given to readers of this blog who wish to express their appreciation for a particular post is to click on a heart emoji . . . .
An important subject, I agree! I am happy you wrote it, and wish to signify full approval of your perspective!