CRITIC'S CORNER: Barbie, Oppenheimer trailers - Part II
This week, we look at Oppenheimer, a.k.a. The Staring Man
In Part I, Battle Line reviewed the trailer for Barbie. This week, we take a look at Oppenheimer. There are two premier trailers for Oppenheimer, and we pull from each wherever it best suits us.
It is important to watch a movie trailer free of any preconceived notions. Therefore, when we see a massive explosion at the beginning of the trailer, we have no idea what may have caused it. Perhaps a trucker just fired up a Marlboro at a Sunoco station. Or maybe a naïve child microwaved a hot dog wrapped in aluminum foil. Or it could be a man has just invented an atomic bomb for a country involved in one of history’s bloodiest wars.
We just don’t know. But we’re drawn in. So we continue watching.
Robert Oppenheimer (played by Cillian Murphy) paints a high-stakes scene when he says, “They won’t fear it until they understand it. And they won’t understand it until they’ve used it.”
At the conclusion of this phrase, we see an object wheeled in on the back of a truck, which makes it pretty clear he is referring to a bomb. (Trust us on this one. We review movie trailers for a living.)
Until we see the object, however, it is just as possible he is talking about a person using a bidet for the first time. Anyone who is unaware that a bidet is a toilet attachment that shoots high-pressure water up a person’s bum after going No. 2 has no reason to fear it. They only begin to fear it after learning about the bidet’s core function. But only after using it will they truly understand it.
Does that make sense? If so, would you mind sending me a message explaining it? I think I’ve confused myself on this one.
The bomb is adorned with several bandages, which we surmise indicates it was a victim of either careless handling or, worse, abuse on the part of the scientists. This disturbing scene presents an opportunity to remind readers that violence against bombs is NOT OK. Until a bomb has detonated, it has done no harm to you. Therefore, there is no justification to treat a bomb with preemptive cruelty - neither physical nor verbal. Only after the bomb explodes in your proximity should you raise even a single hand in self-defense.
There are several images of barren desert land during both trailers. They build a small town for scientists to live in through the duration of the project. “If we don’t let scientists bring their families, we’ll never get the best,” Oppenheimer explains. Plus, why risk blowing up a scientist when you can instead risk blowing up the scientist’s entire family?
Finally, the Oppenheimer trailer probably contains more staring by a single character than any movie or trailer I’ve ever seen.
The depiction of a bug-eyed Oppenheimer is historically accurate. Known as one of the great starers of his era, Robert Oppenheimer once nearly broke the Guinness world record for longest time between blinks. Early in the fourth hour, Oppenheimer sneezed. When he continued staring wide-eyed during the sneeze, the official Guinness observer became so creeped out that he dropped his stopwatch and ran out of the room in terror – just 26 minutes shy of the new record.
By the time he did blink again, his eyeballs were so crusted over that they lacerated his eyelids, causing blood to stream down his face just as the Guinness observer had returned to reclaim his stopwatch. This caused the observer to, yet again, scamper away shrieking in horror, whereupon he slunk into a life of intoxicated reclusiveness and, ultimately, an early grave.
In 1967, just before his own death, Oppenheimer confessed that “sneezing in front of the Guinness man” was his life’s greatest regret.
Based on the trailers, I’m still interested in seeing the film. Although, at a three-hour running time, it may need to be broken up into multiple sittings.
On a scale of 1 to 5, I give the Oppenheimer trailers 4 drum solos.
